Social skills are to use your words, voice, and body-language in an effective way to communicate and connect with other people. Here are five key social skills to master for a better social vibe.
Presence and calmness
When you feel anxious and experience fear in a social interaction you can not function normally. Your imagination stops working and the conversation does not flow freely. Ways to decrease social anxiety and increase presence is to do meditation or comfort zone challenges.
The Art Of Listening
A key component of a charismatic behavior is to listen and to do it well. It is not possible to think about something else in parallel while listening to a friend and still be perceived as listening. Small delays in your facial expression give you away.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
A great benefit of focusing outward to other people is that it makes you less self-conscious and more relaxed and comfortable, increasing presence and calmness.
Rapport is a state of connection that happens between two persons that say: “We are similar and we understand each other”. This is done thru sub communication. More specifically rapport is expressed thru mirroring each other’s language and body movement.
A classic example is when a couple on a date, lift up the wine glass and take a sip fully synchronized, mirroring each other’s behavior. Another example is when two parts on a meeting agree, they tend to mirror each other’s stance, like leaning back in the chair.
Don’t Talk Too Much About Yourself
Most people like to talk about them selves but doing it too much is devastating for connecting with new people. A healthy bit of self-disclosure is a good thing.
Talking overly much about your own goals, desires and achievement come across as trying to self-qualify. It’s better to talk about things that you have in common with the other part, like the environment you are in at the moment.
Eye Contact And Smiling
Eye contact and smiling is a great way to boost conversation energy, make the other person feel more likable and even increase attraction. Failing to maintain enough eye contact can make the person you are talking to feel ignored or get the impression that you are not trustworthy.
Great Books For Better Social Skills